The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Parallel Universe

(I wrote this article for The Postdoc Press (Issue 4) - a proud publication from MUSC Postdoctoral Association)

In my view, reality, super reality and false reality is what constitutes a Postdoc period.  It is real that we have the highest degree in science and look like Einstein and Newton to undergrads. We are greatly “wowed upon” when we tell others we try to cure cancer, Alzheimer’s, or heart failure. This can pass for super reality because we are not likely going to accomplish these during our term. Now, the false reality. We work full time in a lab, yet we are not employees. Unfortunately, postdoctoral training has become more about learning and applying techniques and less about research independence (Yes, the NIH definition is pretentious or misleading). The institution owns our inventions, lab owns the data, and sadly, some of us do not even own our destinies. When I think deeply in what universe does this reality, super reality, and false reality co-exist as a “continuum”, I can come up with only one answer – The Parallel Universe!

Being a third-year Postdoc and the President of the PDA has provided me a great deal of opportunity to interact with many of you. This experience spurred me to write this article to caution both current and wannabe Postdocs.

Once a PD, be a PD for at least 2 years

When you enter the parallel universe, it is judicious to be a Data-Producing-Humanoid for 2 years. Being so is a win-win situation for both the PI and you. The new milieu exposes a fresh PD to a new project, new techniques that offer a lot of learning and new friends. Firmly setting the foot (which will likely take 6-9 months) and fulfilling the needs of the PI will likely move the project forward. While a PD gets credits for the work, a PI reassures him/herself why you are the chosen one.

Fail-fast is better than living in denial   

Time subdues everything, including ambitions. After 2 years, you must introspect whether you want to “continue” as a Postdoc. Let’s face it, a PD training is NOT for everyone and there is no need to feel guilty if you realize this after 2 years. In fact, you are better off when you attain this self-realization sooner than later. Fail-fast is a powerful mantra not just in drug discovery (to save millions of dollars), but also in Postdoc research (to save million joules of negative energy).

Much ado about “training”

In theory, a Postdoc is expected to receive training to enhance professional skills and research independence. Whereas sharpening professional skills lies in our “court”, the PI gets to “call the shots” in order for us to gain research independence. No matter what the reason is, most PDs are not “called” but instead receive “extended” training. This is where a Postdoc inadvertently obliges to become a “glorified” technician. There is learning involved in each and every day in everyone’s career and hence the word “training” must be used judiciously. Is there such a title as training Assistant Professor or training Dean, even though the incumbents are new to a field that involves a lot of learning? Unless the words Training or Trainee are eradicated in the “doctorate” world, nothing can stop the exponential increase in glorified technicians.

The midlife crisis

Nothing during the lifespan of a Postdoc is more complex and challenging than being in the middle of the five-year Postdoc period. Here is why: By continuing as a 3^rd or a 4^th year Postdoc, you send strong signals that your passion to do research is very much alive. But, this has its own repercussions which include: ever-before need to create a “trademark” to stand out in a crowd, over-exposure to lab atmosphere, encumbrances in moving the project forward because of saturation, strained relationship with co-workers and pressure from family to make a sustained living.

Quitter takes all

Let’s say you had a great run for five years. I’m sure this would have definitely provided some perks including papers, strong networking, improved rapport with PI, mastering your discipline, etc. But, if you cannot “parlay” these perks into finding a sensible job at the end of five years, then I’ve just one word for you – QUIT! Do not go overboard and continue as a Postdoc beyond 6 years unless you are promoted to a Scientist position. You are not born to fulfill the needs of a lab. And, unlike James Bond, you only live once.

In addition to the aforementioned reality, super reality and false reality, there is something else called sad reality. That is, “rules” exist for handling chemicals, radiolabeled agents and dead-mice, but when it comes to dealing with your postdoctoral training there are only “general guidelines” and not technical niceties. It is about time for a much-needed change. A “big bang” involving Postdoc associations, Human Resources, law makers, NIH and PIs must happen to separate the true reality from the other realities. Today is as good a day, as any, for all these parties to wake up!